to write. And no, not vampire ghost time-travel romances; that’s a little too weird, even for me, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think I could write romance of any sort because it feels too implausible for my brain to handle.
Elves mucking through a swamp killing undead, THAT I can suspend disbelief for, but the elf and human prince being driven together by circumstance and, despite not getting along initially, falling madly in love with each other? SPOILER ALERT: No. That’s not going to happen.
But being forced by circumstances (inconvenient animated corpses) to spend some time in the human prince’s BEAUTIFUL ancient castle, built in the foothills of a dramatic mountain range and overlooking the empire’s windswept mesas? Why yes, let’s!
I should have titled this post “Looking at Pictures of Castles…” because I haven’t actually been in many castles.
I’ve been in large (and sometimes weird) houses, like Fonthill Castle in Doylestown, PA, a 44-room mansion made entirely of concrete.
Have you ever had a dream that you were in an inexplicably odd structure, with staircases of various sizes, nooks in unexpected places, and mismatched tile and windows, disorienting wall angles, and columns placed irregularly (yes, in front of the fireplace), and you woke up from this dream and told someone, “Hey, I had this crazy dream that I was in this weird house!”? Except then you remembered, no, that was that museum in Bucks County… That’s Fonthill Castle. Trippy and inspiring.
I’ve also been in large (and not so weird) houses, like Thomas Edison’s Glenmont, which hasn’t made its way into any of my writings, but has influenced how I picture large older homes (that entryway!)
That light fixture that look like opalescent bug eggs, though…
I went to the Prado in Madrid*, which is probably the most castle-like building I’ve ever been in, but that was about 11 years ago, and there was so much art to study, that I was a bit overwhelmed.
I remember a sparse white hallway of windows, which was definitely in Spain and may have been in the Prado… I’d like to go back, let my brain refresh my memories, but if I ever make it back to Europe, I think I’ll head for Scotland or France (there are plenty of castles there!)
And I do so want to go on my dream castle tour of Germany. Someday, maybe.
Meanwhile, I’ve got a vague image of a castle in my mind, something like Olite Castle in Spain (at least the newer wing of my imaginary castle, which has been expanded over the centuries, because I can never just make this easy on myself).
What would be GREAT would be if someone published easy-to-read floor plans of beautiful old castles so I could figure out how long, realistically, it would take for my characters to walk from their rooms to the hidden passage, down into the old dungeon, and back. That would be tremendously helpful.
I suppose I’ll just have to add Spain to my castle tour. Which I will go on. When I have money, hahahahahahahahaha.
For now, I’ll let Google inspire me. 😉
*Remember that scene in She’s All That, when the mean artsy girl says to Laney, “Sav and I, we toured the Prado over break,” and other mean artsy girl Savannah so helpfully interjects, “That’s in Spain,” because plebe Laney wouldn’t know, would she? And then the mean, rich art girls suggest she kill herself for artistic immortality? That was dark.